No, hang on, not that kind of cycle. And what's that you got there? A shrink ray! Right, go on, into the sea with you. So the sun heats up water in the sea, river and lakes, and turns it into water ...

Sir Jim Ratcliffe has overseen a spend big enough to take United to the top of the table. Forget the league table, we know it’s all about the Premier League net spend table! We take transfers from the ...