I Kicked My Dog For Barking At A Pile Of Trash At 3 AM. Then He Dragged Out A Frozen Blanket, And I Saw A Purple Foot. Chapter 1: The Good Boy Who Broke The Rules I still look at my boots sometimes and feel sick. Physically sick. I keep them in the garage now. I can’t wear them. Not after what happened last Tuesday. If you have a dog, you know the drill. They bark at squirrels. They bark at the mailman. They bark at the wind. But usually, you know their bark. You know the "I want a treat" bark v